Dirty Sexy Funny Cancer

Cancer card-3

Astrology has been around since 2,000 BC, waxing and waning throughout the centuries, and steadily on the rise since the 1960s. Astrology has been used by many to determine important dates, business deals, the stock market, and the outcome of almost everything under the sun. According to late astrologer, Joan Quigley, it was even used at the White House during the Reagan administration and was responsible for timing all press conferences, most speeches, the State of the Union addresses, the takeoffs and landings of Air Force One.

In my astrology practice, the two things that bring most people to me for advice are their “Honey and their Money”. Yes, most people want to know when they will find that special someone, or if in fact the one their with is “The One”. And now, Cancer, you can use it as a tool for finding romantic compatibility with the sun signs that best suits you, a practice that’s led to many books on the subject, including my book with Jenny McCarthy, Dirty Sexy Funny Astrology. If you are just looking for a good time, it can also be used to determine who’s your hottest hook up or not so much. Sometimes the two go hand in hand, but other times, the person you have the best chemistry with, isn’t the person who’s the best love match for the long term.

This excerpt is all about you, Cancer! Which sign is the hottest for you! Great one-night stands, if that’s your thing! And the ones you need to absolutely stay away from at all costs! If you are single and looking for summer love, this may be just what the doctor ordered, as well as those of your who want to spice things up with your partner! You may get a few good laughs while you’re at it!

For those who would like to learn more about Cancer or any other sign, maybe your own, you can order a copy of Dirty Sexy Funny Astrology on Amazon today!

Cancer – The Nurturer

June 22 – July 22
Cancers, being the emotional creatures that they are, think that sex is an act of pure love. They either want to have a psychic experience with their lover or be nurtured and pampered in the process. These are the ones who need to feel comfortable and safe. And when they finally do, they may even try out the kitchen counter!

What Cancer Is All About:

If I were a bumper sticker, it would say, “handle with care.” My heart is very sensitive and I can’t handle heartbreak. If you cause me any damage, you can be sure that this Cancer will find it impossible to forgive you. But please don’t let that scare you. I’m a big nurturer. I would do anything to make sure my partner is happy. There is no doubt; if someone is looking for the ideal significant other, we’re it. Sure, I might come across as a little shy, but don’t be fooled. I like to get naughty.
Making people feel good about themselves is my greatest talent. I watch over my friends and hold them dear to my heart. I will be loyal for life to those who appreciate me and have my back. But I can always feel who my true friends are because I am so intuitive. Sometimes, I wish my intuition wasn’t so strong because it hurts me when I know that someone doesn’t really like me all that much. And I don’t understand why not. Okay, so I can be moody and clingy sometimes, but what’s wrong with that? If you don’t feel secure, comforted, or loved, anybody would be moody. But I get over it.
It’s hard to share my deepest feelings and be completely open. I know that deep down I’m very strong and powerful, so there’s no real reason to share any angst with anyone else. My emotions don’t control me; I just tuck them away and use the energy for taking care of my family and friends. Some people think I’m a big mystery and don’t understand me, but that’s okay. I’m like the crab that comes out of its shell for a bit, and then scurries away and retreats back inside.
That’s how I am; there’s always a part of me that’s hidden away. I’m very psychic and instinctive, so I know when it’s time to hide beneath my shell to protect my heart. But this is also helpful for knowing who I can trust to be my romantic partner. I can see right through you, and if I don’t feel good about your vibe, it’s a no go.
Once I sense that you can be trusted, I’ll throw off my shell and give you my heart. Sex for me is a deep, all-encompassing experience. I love lots of sweet foreplay to heighten all my senses, complete with the flittering candles, soft romantic music, fragrant flowers, and the feel of your skin against mine. It will be so sensuous, passionate, and unforgettable each and every time. I’m not the one to initiate something new because I’m shy about that. But I enjoy new experiences, so I’m willing to try whatever you want once I feel safe with you. And I’m all about pleasing you. Keeping you happy and satisfied is very exciting for me.

Who Gets Them Hot And Not So Much:

Hottest Sex: Taurus, Virgo, Scorpio, Pisces
One Night Stand (or Two): Cancer, Leo, Capricorn
Not So Much: Aries, Gemini, Libra, Sagittarius

Erogenous Zone:

The breast area for the Cancer woman and the chest for the Cancer Man are the most erogenous parts. Both love to be caressed in that area with light touches that lead to kissing and sucking on the nipples. Nibbling on the nipples is a really hot turn-on, as long it doesn’t turn into full on biting.

Sex Position:

The Spoon. This is a perfect position for sex, or after- wards, when Cancer cuddles up to fall asleep. Fetishes include a passionate night in a luxury hotel, with some special things from home, maybe a scented candle, or a bundle of incense. But they’d be just as happy to stay home and have sex in a new part of the house.

Cancer Celebrity And Dirty, Sexy, Funny:

Margot Robbie:
Margo Robbie told US Magazine how she dominated Leonardo DiCaprio in her sex scene audition for the role of his wife in the Wolf of Wall Street. She said she was having a hard time keeping up and didn’t know exactly what to do. Then, she decided to take a risk, and changed her scene directions, suddenly slapping him and telling him off, instead of just walking away. As a result, she was sure that not only would she not get the part, but she might also be sued in the process. She quickly apologized, but Leo thought it was brilliant and told her to hit him again. Of course she got the part and went on to sizzle in all the sex scenes on the big screen!

The female Cancer has a great sense of timing and reacts on her instincts. And Margot followed that instinct when she walloped Leo in her audition, which paid off brilliantly.

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